This thing called marriage…

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Marriage is a concept that most people enjoy talking about for the fun of it, especially the unmarried. To the married, it is a concept they talk about in order to share opinion with others  to get clarity on how it works best.

We are familiar with the saying that marriage is an institution, one in which the individuals enrol in pairs, and people come to celebrate the matriculation of the said individuals that gets successfully admitted, but witnessing such kind of gathering in  celebrating the convocation of the marriage is unprecedented. There is no special school to study this thing called marriage unlike certain other discipline. You only prepare the best way possible ahead of the marriage, but mastering marriage in itself is rightly and only possible in marriage.

The union between a man and a woman is often held sacred as it requires the consent of the both families involved based on legally established principles.                               

According to the bible in Genesis 2:24 which says, “for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh”. This gets me asking myself, in my voice ” who does the leaving and the cleaving, the man or woman?”

Marriage is a paradigm that needs to be studied for some salient reasons of which I took note of especially after the last wedding ceremony I attended.   I learned of certain facts about marriage that could be quite funny to the unmarried but also a no joke to the married.

I can certainly tell that men often wonder why women can be overly possessive of things even of the ones they do not originally purchase themselves. The discrepancies men perceive in women in terms of how women process their thoughts and proffer solution to life situations can be said to be totally endemic to them and does not often align with the way the men folk would deal with life situations as well.  I’ve come to realize that no matter how rich and powerful she is, she is never satisfied by her own success until she is spent on by a man, true or true? I can simply justify such disposition with the bible which states that the man and women becomes one flesh once married, but then, why must the Man’s money be “our money”, and the woman’s ” my money”?

So many questions are often left unanswered but one fact remains which goes thus…we can ameliorate the emotional hazards in marriage through learning, whether you are married or yet to be married.                Preparation for marriage is done before marriage not while being married. And the understanding of our partners in marriage  doesn’t start in marriage but before marriage. The way you treat your father and brothers would not be different from the way you would treat your husband, and the way you love and care for you mother and sisters would  certainly be the way you would care and love your wife.

It would be way easy for one who wants to take the bold step of being committed to his or her spouse to approach such decision with an open mind, and there fore there are certain nuggets to be reckoned with as a prospective husband and wife… They are..

* Ensure to take out the picture of failure and negativity because the more you think about it, the more it comes alive in reality.

* Take note of this saying, ” different strokes for different folks”. What works for other couple  mustn’t work for you and you spouse.

* Be true to yourselves and be real to others, there isn’t much profiting from being spurious…

* Seek help when necessary and communicate effectively with your spouse while you grow together…

* Learn from your mistakes by owning up and remember that learning isn’t complete if there isn’t a change in behavioural output..

* Marriage isn’t built on lies, misunderstanding, and negative vibes, else it sinks..

* Lastly, forgiveness is paramount as there’s bound to be some mistakes and disagreement. Sometimes the heart and mind doesn’t seem to agree, much less two different individuals cleaving as one. Unforgiving is one attribute that is as heavy as the heaviest of metals which sends the ship sinking fast, as in relationship… We should embrace forgiveness and nurture a forgiving spirit.

NB: Do not give up on your marriage without a fight!!! Challenges are bound to happen especially in marriages that are Just kick starting, but the more u are open to experience with a positive mindset and with a forgiving spirit, those challenges will definitely pass. No matter how many times you run from your marriage, you will still find challenges in the next one you run into, so quit running…

To wrap it all up, every ship has an anchor and so should every relationship especially marriage. The best anchor is the one who established this thing called marriage from the inception. I got a clearer understanding of this thing called marriage when God opened my mind to certain truth. God established the perfect example of how the man and woman should love and respect each other in marriage, by demonstrating His unconditional love for man, and man should also reciprocate His love for God also.

God, who is all powerful, and owns the universe still humbles Himself by delegating certain authority to man, He made man His dwelling place just as the man ought to cleave to his wife, and never exert any action on this earth without the consent and acknowledgment of a yielding man, this is His way of showing love, care and value that He has for man. On the other hand, man reciprocates his love for God by yielding and submitting to God, as a symbol of his loyalty and accountability as a wife should be to her husband.

For a more vivid understanding of this thing called marriage get to the source of all things for answers, i am sure that you would find answers from Him. It has worked from the beginning of time, it still works and will continue to work. Just don’t give up on the process, stay put and you will indeed find that bliss you’ve been searching for. God is the source and the sustainer of marriage, stay glued to Him and He’ll direct your part.

Encourage someone with this…

 

REBIRTH

Little by little, each seconds of the day. As the day chameleons into night, I saw myself getting neck deep into it, into this state I call “helplessness”.

At first I thought it was just a passing phase, but it didn’t pass. Then I concluded that everyone lived with it…Deception came calling…

I struggled with this feeling and experience until I caved in and became drowned in it.

Gradually my sense of reasoning and judgment were becoming altered , or better still, all I avoided it to be.

Days passed, weeks passed, and time took flight. Then I realized how lost I was. I felt empty, and it seemed like I have lost my connection with the entire cosmos.

Nothing was in agreement with me anymore, the best way I knew how to react was “aggression”. I took offense at every slight provocation, cursed and starting nursing bitterness within.

“OK , let me start doing what I used to do”, so I said, but did it work?…Disappointment…

I gave up, I resolved to live each day as they come .Gradually, that stranger came knocking and since I was bored, I opened my door…Depression sets in…

“Prayer is the key”, we all say therefore I tried to pray as usual. Guess what?I wasn’t supposed to pray as usual, I was supposed to pray like never before… Another disappointment sets in…

Since the entire world seemed to be against me, I starting questioning my presence in this world, suicidal thoughts came rushing. Thank God I didn’t take my life that I didn’t give to myself, the fear of hell prevented me.

I had to come face to face with my condition, what I prefer to call “a state of spiritual limbo”. I stood facing the mirror, cried my eyes out, talked down myself to the point of nothingness.

Then I remembered this from the first book of Samuel chapter 30 from verse 6, and I quoted, ” David encouraged himself in the Lord”.Since I wasn’t as courageous as king David, I looked back at my reflection on the mirror and firmly said ” God, encourage me now!”, I felt weak and sleepy.

After that I remembered waking up to remember the song that was sung to me in my dream. “Joy, joy, joy, rejoice…o my soul rejoice…sing within and without…o my soul rejoice…

I braced up, ran to the mirror and with my bloodshot eyes, I smiled. I was simply overwhelmed with joy, not happiness, not the kind that the world gives, but joy in my soul.

It was a moment of rebirth. Rebirth, I say… I couldn’t have felt so alive…everything seems to agree with me again.

To you reading this, it could also be that you are in the state of spiritual limbo, you can experience a rebirth.

To you who has never even experienced the God consanguinity, there is a room at the cross for you. He knocks at the door of your heart, can you kindly open? You cannot regret opening to Him.

This isn’t the time for lukewarmness, or nonchalance. It’s not a time for laggardness or indecision. it’s not a time for irresponsibility or sitting on the fence.

It’s a time for sons to arise, to get serious and busy for God. Make a decision today to come to God to experience a rebirth and to live in fulfilment of purpose.

Know this that the whole creature awaits your manifestation as a child of God.

Rebirth…

The Quest

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Have you ever been in that not so pleasant kind of situation in which all you have clamored and fought for in such a die hard manner is laid at your feet, right in front of you? What was the feeling like?

You smile but the smile is just half way an efflux from the heart. Its more like coming from the head.

You’ve gotten your revenge, but it seems not vengeful enough.

You underestimated the strength of love over hate

The heart wants to love freely, wants to be happy , but the quest for vengeance is some what forward, always trying to be ahead.

You address issues like one with a chip on his shoulder, being spiteful dishing out the anger.

Always at the point of proving a point even when it isn’t necessary.

Watch it! We do not see beyond what we apparently see. I mean the point you are trying to prove, don’t you think some one else already knows?

“I am happy”, so you say but here’s another question… Is that really happiness?

The quest for happiness has sent many running down the dark path of hate and bitterness because they ignorantly thought that happiness is only about self gratification.

Then they realize that the worth of living itself is not in the taking but in the giving.

Not in the ‘me satisfaction’ but in the ‘ us satisfaction’

Not in the ‘doing you’ all the time, but in the ‘doing us’ sometimes.

Not in the ‘ me happiness’ but in the ‘ we happiness’, which results to joy.

There’s hope even for a tree that has been hewed down, that at the scent of water it will spring up. You can still conquer that quest… The quest for true happiness. Ask me how…

It is conquerable by putting behind the hurt, pain, agony, strife and bitterness and looking forward to the things ahead with faith and hope because hope maketh not ashamed.

Enough!, we have tried fetching happiness using the hate pail which in turn contaminates the content of our happiness turning it into hate, strife and unhealthy competition.

Let’s give love a chance,let’s fetch from the well of happiness with the pail of love. Trust me… Nothing can go wrong. The Content will come out as pure and undefiling.

These are the lasting moments of our lives , when we infect others with our happiness. When it is no longer about me or you, but about me and you.

Remember this as you attend to each days need, ” let love lead”… The love of God has been shared abroad in our hearts.

These are my thoughts, what about yours?

I couldn’t agree less, do you agree?

How effective is your salt?

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Salt is one of the basic house hold commodity.  I don’t see the possibility of salt being absent in a home for a long period of time safe the individual has an certain vendetta with his or her kitchen..

The word “salt” isn’t strange to anyone as much as its usefulness. Am not trying to remind you of why you added salt to your last meal, or why you suggested that your neighbor should apply salt to preserve her food items.

Here’s what am here to do, to harness the salt in you and to make it effective.

How well does your presence and utterance lighten the burdens of the person beside you and restore hope to the seemingly hopeless? salt preserves…

Is it easy for your family, friends and colleagues to sweat it out around you and heave a sigh of relief? Salt allows free passage of heat…

What advice did you give that lady who came to complaining about her husband, or the young man of his boss and his job, or the young girl of her relationship with her best friend?Did you show them the easy way out by calling it quit for them? Salt can seal cracks and fissures in rocks that surrounds it…

How do you respond to the teenage girl down the corner, do you resent her because of her life style and telling your children not to be seen any where around her? Salt is useful for filtering and for treatment…

Why don’t you get to know this teenage girl and give her a little of your salt so she can be filtered and treated.

Why don’t you give the young lady, the young man and the young girl some your salt by urging them to face the problem and not run from it. They should go back and seal the cracks in their relationships..

There is salt in everyone of us, we shouldn’t let it lie dormant. Let it be extended to the people around us. Our family, friends and colleagues should be able to let go of stress whenever they are around us, that’s not asking for too much, is it?

No one wants to be around a person which makes them feel like they are walking on eggshells. Take note…

We are the salt of the earth, use your salt and be effective. Its one step ahead in solving the problems in our society, selah…

The more effective we are as salt, the less the suicide rate in our society..

Use your salt effectively, stay positive…

I Decide!!!

Living in this world where wrong and right are intertwined because doing right makes you feel awkward and apologetic and doing wrong makes you feel right cause its the conventional way.

I have realized that decisions are the in game, from staying alive to fighting your way through life.

In fact , you decide to stay positive or you get drowned by the ups and downs one would encounter as you stride on.

We make decisions daily from standing up to catch on with life, to coming back home to analyze each day and prepare for the next day.

From obeying simply rules as traffic signs to obeying obeying less simple rules as natural laws.

From putting what’s to be in front first, to putting oneself last so as to do what’s right.

From living life without grudge and malice to ensuring the happiness of others as well.

From putting aside our immediate self gratification to putting before us the safety and welfare of the people around us.

From dealing with our insecurities, to seeing ourselves as the same irrespective of our interests, goals, preferences, opinion,nationality, faith, belief, to the color of our skin.

The difference between outcomes, both negative and positive are the mechanisms surrounding the individual’s decisions. You either resolve to introspect and determine outcome from within or let circumstances decide for you.

This starts with me to you….

Do you wish to live in a society where no one is safe to stand on what is absolutely right?

Or a society where no one is trusted to commit anything to?

Where no one is confident to do business with anyone?

Where the young woman can not safely stroll down the street?

Where you are in pain, yet so scared to cry out for help?

Where mediocrity is encouraged against meritocracy?

We need to decide… Its starts with me and you…for me…

I say no to bigotry, racism, killing, rape and all other social vices to hampers human cordial relationship.

I say yes to non conformity, truth, love,selflessness, unity and oneness…

You decide…

I decide…

Nostalgia

Do we have yo meet to part? Its really hard to let go just when you have adjusted and adapted. Sometimes I wish constant doesn’t change , why does change have to be constant?

So many questions running through my mind and its making me exhausted. Well no, i won’t be because its all for the best.

I have met so many amazing people and I just wish they remain around for a long while, at least, but its all for the best. That moment when you have to but you don’t want to, that bitter sweet moment , knowing what lies ahead but just wanting to hold on to the moment.

I need to embrace change, only then will I embrace what I envisage.

I need to deal with my fears , only then will I embrace change.

I need to face my fears, only then will I deal with it.

I need to summon courage, only then will I face my fears.

I need the right attitude and mind set, only then will I summon courage

I need to stay positive, only then will I exhibit the right attitude.

I need to build the positive atmosphere, only then will I stay in it.

I need the right materials, only then will I build the right atmosphere.

I need to put myself together, only then will I sort for the right materials.

I need to be true to myself, only then will I put myself together.

How do I stay true to myself, only if I look in a mirror.

I will look into the mirror, but I hope I recognize the truth I’ll find.

I don’t want to be that man who looks in a mirror and leaves and then forget how he looks.

For that I’ll need faith. Faith to believe that this is just the beginning of better things to come, and that whatever I think I have tasted sweet isn’t sweeter than tomorrow’s sweet.

I wise lady once asked me a question, in her words ” why settle for today, is it because you aren’t sure of what tomorrow holds?”

I have made my resolve, you know what, I’ve got to deal with this feeling, this nostalgic feeling that could give rise to complacency. I need to..

I’m sure so many of us battle with dealing with change, but you know , that’s real life for you… Change…

We’ve got to adjust and work it through with the right attitude and we shall continue to stay afloat and not drowned …. Thank you